No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
