U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize