help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
