I could have mohawked her pubes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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