I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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