the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
