wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
