You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
