kristin has been a bad kristin
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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