Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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