how can u be prego again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
