I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
