ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
