I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
