Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
