The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We are all done wearing pants today
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize