A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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