So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
