Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
