what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
