I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
