i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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