Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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