If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
