Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
