don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
