If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
