Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
