he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
