i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize