i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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