I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
