eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
