Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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