You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
