Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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