see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
