Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
