Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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