Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize