I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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