im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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