I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
