We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
