it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
