i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
