I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
