Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
