Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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