tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize