Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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