i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
