ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
