I think my fart just growled at me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
