whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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