Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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