i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
