I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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