I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
