Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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