I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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