I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
God, I missed his penis.
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