When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
