i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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