just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
