i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
