the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize