...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
