So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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