remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
