His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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