i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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