You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
