so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
