I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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