i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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