if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
