But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
